Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

I read this Dylan Thomas poem recently at my father's memorial in California. It was at first a difficult choice to make. I had feared that listeners would misunderstand my use of it. Perhaps they would think it implied bitterness or anger. And so I found myself explaining the poem's significance. I wish I could remember verbatum what I said (apparently when one is deeply within the phenomenological it is difficult to replay the events) but the jist was that at the moments near to his final breath I found myself in two places of relations to his passing. I split into two selves so to speak. The one self wanted him to stay and fight the leaving. The other knew he could not help but let go and wanted him to do so; and thereby perhaps relieve any possible suffering.

This duality of being I thought was crucial to understanding the poem, but also for understanding how it felt to accompany my father as he left us. I have yet to put myself back together.

ADHD

One perspective I haven't covered yet is that this disorder may in fact in some cases be evidence of something far more pernicious. I noted one day while stopping to say hello to some friends that while one was not home, the other was―but was not paying any attention to the child (a toddler), who was outside. The other adult was typing away on a supposed screen play. It ocurred to me later to mention it to the adsent other and surprisingly she discounted the child's behavior as ADHD rather than recognize that what I was saying was that the child was being ignored. I dropped the enquiry but realized later that each of the adults in this case were "artists" and probably battled with each other for time to work on their projects and had no clue what was happening to their child. Perhaps because of their own self-absorption they easily misconstrued the lack of development as isolated within the psyche of the child.

I mention this event not to claim that all ADHD is symptomatic of societal alienation, but I am certain that there are many other such cases as this. The other combined factor is the exposure to highly active animation and and movies. If you sit your child in front of the video games and tvs they are going to exhibit its influence, the speed as well as the behavior of TV role models can cancel out the slow stimuli of the parent child relationship, as well as the teacher /student. All this is a short version of this topic but I'll try to make an analytical essay of it later.